My Career Aspirations

It's not really what I think of as a party, but I guess I was at a party yesterday.  At some point, "party" stopped being code for the purposeful overconsumption of alcohol, followed by mutual groping or good-natured vomiting.  Now it's a small gathering of upright adults, with everyone trying not to seem drunk while drinking.  Everyone has internalized this new definition except me.  Subconsciously, I'm always anticipating a night of nauseous debauchery which explains my inevitable disappointment once I arrive to parties nowadays.  People mostly talk.

So last night I was at a "party".  In the middle of polite conversation with some lonely looking people, one woman asked what I did.  I told her.  I was feeling reckless, so I added, "And I hate it."

I thought this would get a laugh or at least a sympathetic smile, but it appeared I had severely misjudged my crowd.  There was only a strained silence.

"I hate my job," I repeated, causing my wife to blink at my rapidly.  I make her nervous sometimes, with my sudden honesties.  "I'm looking for a new one."

I smiled politely at the frozen people.

"Well, what are you thinking the next step is?" a man named George finally inquired.

"Sending out my resume." I was annoyed by the obviousness of this.

"No no - I mean, what are you looking to do?"

"Oh you know - " I waved my hand dismissively.  "I figure I'll take the job that offers me the most money."

George nodded in a concerned sort of way.  "That's it?"

"Yes," I said, though I supposed as a middle-aged man there ought to be more on my agenda, like saving the whales or acquiring a particular job title.  But there wasn't, so I confirmed, "That's it."

Later my wife told me she had never met someone else who could appear gauche, insecure and arrogant all at the same time.  I thought of reminding her of a certain incident at her bachelorette party - I was fairly certain bargaining down a stripper who didn't care to show his balls was both gauche, insecure and arrogant but in the end, I wasn't sure.  Besides, I've been married long enough to let some things go.