Everyone lies in interviews. If you accuse them after the fact, people say "Oh no, I didn't lie, I just exaggerated." Whatever, you lied. It's fine. Everyone lies. I lied to get this job. In my interview, they asked if I had ever worked with some obscure computer system and I said fuck yeah and I was hired.
I experienced some mild panic over the lies I had told, but then I did what any sane person would do and Googled everything. When I came to work I had at least some knowledge of what I was saying I was an expert in. And I have never been found out, effectively transforming my lies into truths.
Now you on the other hand. I remember your interview. You were so calm, so self-assured, but just nervous enough that I didn't think you were an asshole. You told me how much you liked problem-solving, how great you were with numbers, how just totally fucking smart you were. You were a breath of fresh air and didn't look like you were about to cry, which is more than I can say for the girl who interviewed before you.
At this point you've worked here long enough for me to realize that your interview was either a once in a lifetime fluke, or you are a sociopath with different personalities. And I've been moving towards accepting that. I'm working through it, it's a process. However, when I hear you say, just outside my office door, in casual conversation with an intern, how much you hate problem-solving (who the fuck SAYS that), how horrible you are with numbers, and how, overall, you consider yourself pretty dumb - well, this is a new level. You are a whole fucking new level.
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